Fees, Compensation & Beginning a Journey

I posted this on my SurrogateMother profile, and wanted to share this here ...

This is a link that a surrogate friend shared with me when I started my journey back in 2009, and I was asking about what was reasonable in terms of fees:

http://www.surromomsonline.com/support/showthread.php?t=138032


I not only post this as a guide for surrogates who are starting their journey, but for any prospective Intended Parents (IP's) so they can get an idea of what is common.


Rebekah Rose posted a bunch of links in that thread, and the first link on there has all the things you should think about broken down, but believe me, there are things that are NOT on there that you will NEVER think will happen to you (Ex: Placenta Accreta. I know 2 surros who have had it, and one of them the doctor was recommending removal of her uterus), so think things through, and read other surrogates diaries/blogs so you can start having an undertanding of what to add in terms of fees.

Nothing worse than being at the beginning of a journey, and have something terrible happen like a miscarriage, or even a stillbirth further along in the pregnancy, and not have included something in your contract that would cover things like bedrest or childcare, etc.

Also, the beginning of a journey should require psychological screenings for everyone involved. At least my doctor asked for it, along with contracts. I had mine done when I did my journey. Took about 4 hours.

Contracts are next. Mind you, here in PR it is done indy. That first medical contract is mainly for the medical aspect of the journey. There will be more contracts after the birth when the legal part comes up.

And of course, the Intended Parent(s) and the surrogate should be checked for ALL types of sexually transmitted diseases!!! Whether you are doing In-Vitro, or home inseminations and Traditional Surrogacy!

And last but not least, surrogates should have NO out of pocket expenses!!! Intended Parents need to cover her mileage/gas, give her a food stipend for the day, something for child care, and cover all co-pays in advance.

This is again for people who do this indy (independent). This is especially important for surrogate mothers who are stay at home moms, because we have no outside job. Last thing an Intended Parent (IP) wants if for his/her surrogate to have family/marital/financial problems being caused by her doing a surrogacy. Her needs need to be covered while she is at doctor's appointments, getting bloodwork done, at a psych screening, and even while resting after a home insemination. If you want her to stay put, and be responsible, then help meet her needs because otherwise she will be forced to still tend to her family/household needs before her own.

I have had my share of learning experiences through the 2 In-Vitro (IVF's), 3 Intrauterine Inseminations (IUI's), and one miscarriage I went through, so I can vouch to how we are never prepared when going indy.


I wish everyone good luck, and if any surrogates can add anything I might have missed, or that you wish you would have thought of when starting out your independent journey, then please do so.

I would also like to add that I like to reach out to people because I either genuinely care, or because I might need some support and someone to lend an ear, and when they open their hearts to me, I give my all to try and stay in touch. But I have in vain tried in the past to reach out to members on here who are local to my island, and the majority have ignored the posts I have left on their walls. I say to you: Don't expect my help when you need it, when you have ignored me all along! Just needed to get that off my chest.

And to prospective Intended Parents, not all surrogates are liers, hackers, or trying to steal your money. Yes, there are a few quacks out there who give surrogacy a bad name, but I have my IP's, doctors, lawyers, other surrogates, neighbors, family and friends who saw me do this surrogacy, and follow through till the end. Who can vouch for me. Who know I am a woman of my word.

Having said that, I wish everyone the best of luck. Remember, sometimes surrogacy is a leap of faith!